about me, life, Uncategorized


home Do you ever have a strong urge to do something? Especially when the thing you are currently doing may not be the best fit for you? Some may call this depression, some may call it a mid life crisis… some may look at this feeling as life. Like you are supposed to be un-happy or miserable. Maybe this is how we are subconsciously taught to view life. Waking up early in the morning, spend an hour in traffic, spend all day in a cubical, drive another hour just to get home, pick up the kids, rush to make dinner, then start planning to do it all over again. For the average American adult this is life 5 days a week.

It’s no ones fault really. This is a way of life that believe it or not most people enjoy. Corporate America provides jobs for families and products or services for consumers. It’s a chain effect. You were taught that this is normal. Especially when you live in a large city or suburb of a city. You go to school to have that great, amazing job on the 60th floor of a large building.

But what if you didn’t enjoy it. What if every day you felt the life was being sucked out of you. That this was a destructive path that was leading you to nowhere. Sadly, this too is a reality for many people.

Where do you find that work / life balance?

I have met a few people in my life that absolutely love their career. They knew it was what they were born to do. You can feel the passion and drive they have when they describe it or when you see them in action. They found their calling. And you also read success stories about individuals who were in a rut, found their path and they are truly happy. For some this happened right away and for some it was a work in progress.

But how do you know? You know you are unhappy… but how do you know the steps you take are the right ones to bring you that desired happiness? Where does one begin and one end?

This is a concept that might be to hard to handle all at once. But the tiny steps that you take might just lead you to it. Case in point: I quit my day job. Let me first state that I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity that I did. I was managing a small, elective medical office where I met with patients on a daily basis. I loved them all and I was very sad to know I would not be seeing them any longer. I also managed the daily flow of the office, making sure the doctors could easily work and the staff members had what they needed to succeed. I also assisted in surgery, which was a lot of fun! But… I was not happy. I was pulling more than 50 hours per week, spending more time there and less time with Jordan. As a mom, this was very heartbreaking and had me tearing at the seams.

Office jobs are not for me. They are to confined… to restricting. I need constant stimulation. Creativity. I am an artist and I need to be surrounded by an environment that embraces that way of thinking and living. I am also a lover of nature. I need to be around trees, water, mountains, rocks… concrete is cold and hard. Buildings are beautiful but they block my view of the mountain skyline. Visually, mentally, spiritually I was creating an environment for me that was not positive.

So, I decided to take a step. A step that has caused me much anxiety but has also made me happier than I have been in a long time. And what am I doing now? Focusing on me. Myself. For once. I had sunk to such a depressed state that I was going to therapy, reading self help books and trying to figure out what I needed to do. Was I really going crazy? No. In fact, the feelings I was feeling were very healthy and natural. But when you keep putting yourself in the same environment over and over again… yes, that is crazy.

Not sure where my path will lead me. I am looking at this as a fresh start. A new beginning. I want to focus on my blog more, develop recipes, write health articles, sew more… but what I really want to do is become fully aware of myself, my goals and desires. And instead of going against them, flow with them.

I will touch on this subject more… I have some great books and online resources that has helped me find balance.Until then, treat yourself well.

What have you done for yourself lately? Have you ever had such a strong urge that you were denying that eventually you just couldn’t resist any longer?

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