about me, life, Uncategorized


home Do you ever have a strong urge to do something? Especially when the thing you are currently doing may not be the best fit for you? Some may call this depression, some may call it a mid life crisis… some may look at this feeling as life. Like you are supposed to be un-happy or miserable. Maybe this is how we are subconsciously taught to view life. Waking up early in the morning, spend an hour in traffic, spend all day in a cubical, drive another hour just to get home, pick up the kids, rush to make dinner, then start planning to do it all over again. For the average American adult this is life 5 days a week.

It’s no ones fault really. This is a way of life that believe it or not most people enjoy. Corporate America provides jobs for families and products or services for consumers. It’s a chain effect. You were taught that this is normal. Especially when you live in a large city or suburb of a city. You go to school to have that great, amazing job on the 60th floor of a large building.

But what if you didn’t enjoy it. What if every day you felt the life was being sucked out of you. That this was a destructive path that was leading you to nowhere. Sadly, this too is a reality for many people.

Where do you find that work / life balance?

I have met a few people in my life that absolutely love their career. They knew it was what they were born to do. You can feel the passion and drive they have when they describe it or when you see them in action. They found their calling. And you also read success stories about individuals who were in a rut, found their path and they are truly happy. For some this happened right away and for some it was a work in progress.

But how do you know? You know you are unhappy… but how do you know the steps you take are the right ones to bring you that desired happiness? Where does one begin and one end?

This is a concept that might be to hard to handle all at once. But the tiny steps that you take might just lead you to it. Case in point: I quit my day job. Let me first state that I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity that I did. I was managing a small, elective medical office where I met with patients on a daily basis. I loved them all and I was very sad to know I would not be seeing them any longer. I also managed the daily flow of the office, making sure the doctors could easily work and the staff members had what they needed to succeed. I also assisted in surgery, which was a lot of fun! But… I was not happy. I was pulling more than 50 hours per week, spending more time there and less time with Jordan. As a mom, this was very heartbreaking and had me tearing at the seams.

Office jobs are not for me. They are to confined… to restricting. I need constant stimulation. Creativity. I am an artist and I need to be surrounded by an environment that embraces that way of thinking and living. I am also a lover of nature. I need to be around trees, water, mountains, rocks… concrete is cold and hard. Buildings are beautiful but they block my view of the mountain skyline. Visually, mentally, spiritually I was creating an environment for me that was not positive.

So, I decided to take a step. A step that has caused me much anxiety but has also made me happier than I have been in a long time. And what am I doing now? Focusing on me. Myself. For once. I had sunk to such a depressed state that I was going to therapy, reading self help books and trying to figure out what I needed to do. Was I really going crazy? No. In fact, the feelings I was feeling were very healthy and natural. But when you keep putting yourself in the same environment over and over again… yes, that is crazy.

Not sure where my path will lead me. I am looking at this as a fresh start. A new beginning. I want to focus on my blog more, develop recipes, write health articles, sew more… but what I really want to do is become fully aware of myself, my goals and desires. And instead of going against them, flow with them.

I will touch on this subject more… I have some great books and online resources that has helped me find balance.Until then, treat yourself well.

What have you done for yourself lately? Have you ever had such a strong urge that you were denying that eventually you just couldn’t resist any longer?

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about me

Green, please leave

So I think I need to get a little personal right now and open up.

Still to this day I freak out inside (my head) if I know I cannot get in a workout. I start thinking about gaining weight, what I have eaten, what I shouldn’t have eaten, etc. I hate it. Even though I workout for my own health, I still look at as a way to lose weight. I still have a small percentage of body fat that I would like to reduce and some toning I would like to perfect.

I may have to start sucking it up and taking J to the gym instead of waiting for Marc to watch him. He really does not want him around daycare settings and the germs. I don’t blame him but it is getting very hard for me to rely on his ever changing schedule. Example: I usually workout at night after I put J down. I always have. But now that Marc referee’s his matches can run long; like tonight. I was planning on going to the gym tonight – I started a running plan to get my endurance up. It’s getting late, 8:30, I haven’t eaten much for dinner and really don’t want to until I go – running on a semi full belly is no fun. :sigh: I can feel the anxiety come up in my throat and the water well in my eyes. It makes me feel weak, like I have no control and I start to become jealous of others.

If only I looked like her ::::: Why can’t that be me ::::: Then I would be happy

Even though I have come a long way in feeling great about myself, it doesn’t feel like it at times.

about me, dinner, running

Introvert style

Good evening!

Since Marc was having some boy time, I opted for a light “Tasha” kind of dinner… again. I think I see a pattern here as I had this last night for dinner, too. Why change a good thing, right?


  • vanilla Oikos
  • Puffins cereal (this stuff is HIGHLY addictive!)
  • granola
  • a half of an apple
  • almond butter

I haven’t been very creative today and my lack of wanting to cook has also come out – I hope it’s just a slump! I really do love cooking and creating in the kitchen but today I was not feeling it.

Jordan LOVES his food, too! He makes these noises all through his dinner – tonight he had brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes with cinnamon and in this video he was eating some organic vanilla cookies – he is so darn cute!

Remember this bad boy?


My Birthday cake! There is still over half of it left and it has been preserving in the freezer. Pumpkin ice cream – heck yes! And a nice cup of coffee to end the day right.


I flipped on the TV, snuggled into the couch corner and opened up my Runners World magazine. I found one of my favorite movies – Pink Floyd: The Wall. I am a HUGE Pink Floyd fan and this movie is no exception. BUT if you are not a Pink Floyd fan I don’t recommend it – it is not for the light at heart.

I was also skimming through my magazine and found these inspirational snippits that I just had to share.


I love the fact that he loves racing so he isn’t at the senior center!


And can you believe that he ran 50 miles in his DRESS SHOES!? Amazing! That’s what I call determination!

Those that have significant others, husbands, live in boyfriends/girlfriends… what do you tend to do when they are away that you usually wouldn’t when they are around?

I don’t watch massive amounts of TV, actually hardly ever, but I do take advantage when Marc is gone in the evening to find something that he wouldn’t normally watch. Of course since he is the man of the house, he gets the remote when he is home.Believe me, I am totally fine with that. I usually am reading, knitting or doing the dishes when he is watching TV. But I also take advantage of the peace and quite and listen to relaxing jazz and be perfectly content when he is gone. I feel most like myself when I am by myself, surrounded by the things in life that make me happy. I am an introvert and PROUD! Marc is the exact opposite and is a very boisterous extrovert. He helps me become more alive and I help him become more calm – it’s a good balance. 🙂


about me, random

Just some fun

I snapped this picture today – it looks like a face, huh!

Anyway, I love doing these questions – enjoy! 🙂

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse… I think
2. Your hair? Needs color AND a cut!
3. Your mother? Sweet and kind
4. Your father? Is too far away! I miss him!
5. Your favorite food? Salads and chocolate – too even themselves out 😉
6. Your dream last night? Cannot remember
7. Your favorite drink? H2O, black coffee, Wine
8. Your dream/goal? To live a life that I am proud of when I am 95
9. What room are you in? family room/tv room
10. Your hobby? blogging, quilting, sewing, crafting in general, baking
11. Your fear? clowns, cancer, drowning
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? As long as I am happy and loved, then that’s all that matters.
13. Where were you last night? Home – I went to sleep at 9:30!
14. Something you aren’t? A boy
15. Muffins? English
16. Wish list item? Mac Book
17. Where did you grow up? Leavenworth, WA
18. Last thing you did? Ate fresh made banana bread
19. What are you wearing? yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt
20. Your TV? Unused
21. Your pets? Lilly puppy
22. Your friends? Far but near
23. Your life? Not perfect but I love it
24. Your mood? giggly
25. Missing someone? Not really, everyone that I need is right here
27. Something you’re not wearing? Underwear. (TMI? You know me, I love giving you TMI!)
28. Your favorite store? A co-op
29. Your favorite color? green and white
30. When was the last time you laughed? Tonight 🙂 Marc always makes me laugh
31. Last time you cried? Can’t remember but it wasn’t too long ago – I am a sap.
32. Best Friend? Marc
33. One place that I go to over and over again? The kitchen – duh!
34. One person who emails me regularly? No one really – a lot of spam and randoms
35. Favorite place to eat? Sitting down – I hate to eat rushed.

about me

About Me


My name is Tasha, The Clean Eating Mama. Welcome to my Clean Eating and healthy living blog! I live in beautiful state of Washington and call Seattle my home.
What is clean eating you ask?
The definition for clean eating differs from person to person. To me, eating clean means eating as close to Mother Earth and nature as possible. If it’s not natural then chances are we should not be eating it. I live a vegetarian/vegan life style. I find that my body feels the best on plant based food. However, you can still eat clean eating animal products – I always suggest buying organic since it cuts down on the amount of chemicals and additives.
My blog is important to me because health and nutrition are important to me. Education and awareness are invaluable and my goal is to bring these two together to help today’s society. Today’s diet is overloaded with the word "convenience". Fast food, take out, pre-packaged items… now don’t get me wrong. As a mom I am all for convenience. Especially if it makes my life easier! But understanding the good and bad of this equation is the answer.
I would be lying to say that I have never struggled with my weight or self image. I was over weight as a child; always being made fun of at school and I remember going on my first "diet" when I was 12. At age 12 a child should not be worrying about his or her weight. They should be playing with friends, wind blowing through their hair and not have a care in the world! The summer of 7th grade I did something about my image. I wanted boys to like me, I wanted to wear cute clothes, I wanted to be "cool". I started to do crunches and push up’s in my bedroom at night and watched what I ate. I started 7th grade a new person. I had confidence, friends and boys started to look at me! It was great!
In 10th grade I became serious with a boy and my weight started to come back on again. I guess I fell in that comfortable area and the pounds packed back on. Late night taco bell runs and not being very active lead me to gain at least 30 pounds. I don’t know the exact amount as I never had weighed myself during that time, but I was pretty heavy. At the time I was fine with it but eventually I started to hate the person I was becoming. So I did what all people do when they want to lose weight: I watched what I ate and started becoming more active.
I noticed results pretty quickly and I was enjoying my new life style. Unfortunately, our relationship didn’t last but my new habits did. I was becoming very self aware and started to focus on me with no other distractions in my life. I loved my new life and my new appearance.
I ended up working at the local medical center as a nutritionist and worked closely with the RD. There I learned that nutrition was my calling. I wanted to help individuals become happy and healthy!
In late 2004 my self esteem and self image dropped into a very unhealthy level. I tested numerous diet pills, viewed food as the enemy and was always working out. I let it get out of hand and it started to consume my life. I couldn’t enjoy myself when I would go out with Marc or my friends because it was always revolved around food. I was always striving to lose more weight and I became depressed when I couldn’t.
Then something magical happened: I got pregnant.
me and bubba
Everyone says that getting pregnant and become a mom changes their life in some way. They are absolutely correct, but it is different for each individual.
I knew I needed a mental break from my critical inner voice and I let loose. I had no idea what to expect nor was I about to sacrifice my unborn child’s health. I ate what I wanted and what I felt like and you know what? IT WAS AWESOME! I really couldn’t help it – cravings would come on and I needed it NOW! 🙂
However, I did gain over 50 pounds which is more than I would have liked but I didn’t look back. I had a very healthy 9 months with no complications what so ever. Delivery was the same way and a lot easier than I would have expected. You can read about my birth in detail here. But don’t worry, I spared the gory details. 😉
Now I was on the road to recovery and getting my body back in check again. With a combination of nursing, being able to move again and starting to feel normal, I had lost close to 25-30 pounds at my 6 week check up. I retained A LOT of water during my pregnancy! My ankles were HUGE and I was swollen all over. Nursing helped the recovery and my ankles were back to normal in less than a week! I could finally wear shoes again! Ah, the simple things!
Even though the weight was slowly coming off I new that I needed to start going back to the gym as it had been over a year since I laced up my shoes. Not only for weight loss but for my over all health needed attention. I ended up buying 12 weeks with a personal trainer at Gold’s and it was exactly what I needed to jump start my new, healthy mentality.
You see, I have learned something very important from my little bundle of joy: I am proud of my body and I have all the respect in the world for it now! For once I am able to say that! So what if I have stretch marks and some extra skin around my mid section… I created life! And I have to stay healthy for him. I want to be a good example and teach him the importance of a balanced diet and a balanced life.
This is why I created this blog – life is hard but people from all walks of life have struggled and you know what? It’s ok. If you see a thin, beautiful woman walking down the street and you think to yourself "If only I could look like her…"; the thing is you have no idea what she is going through. Maybe she herself is struggling with her own insecurity or is unhealthy. We need to embrace our own existence and be good our bodies.
I love comments or questions so please feel free to say HI anytime! I hope you enjoy my blog as much as I love to write.