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Touchy

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The Clean Eating Mama

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Well, I am glad I am not the only one with the sugar cravings! I am fighting them away but man… it’s HARD!

Sorry for being MIA – but I think everyone is starting to really hustle around due to Christmas being 4 days away! GAWD – I cannot believe it! I’ve actually never been one to “freak out” around the Holiday’s. I never push myself to my limits, drain my bank account and try to compare myself with everyone else. It’s not about the monetary items – it’s about the season of being together with the ones that mean the most. And really, I like to put things off until the last minute. I realized that I need to ship a package to New York and I now realize that it will be late – oops! I HATE having a deadline! haha

Breakfast:

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I juiced an apple, 2 carrots, 2 clementines, then added the liquid to the blender with a banana, flax meal, spinach and ice. Look at those bubbles of goodness!

I was feeling in a very “homey” mood so I made homemade chicken noodles soup! My first time ever!

I LOVE making soups and chilis, especially on cold, dreary days. While everyone is making snowmen, we are jumping in mud puddles.

The soup turned out excellent! I will post the recipe later as I need to remember all that I did – I took a basic one and modified it.

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Mmmm… although I had a hard time eating it because of the chicken… I knew Marc would enjoy it, though.

I also sipped on some hot cocoa while reading a magazine.

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Dinner was takeout – BAD but GOOD!

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I had Kung Pow Tofu (YUM!) and I had a sample of Marc’s pork fried rice and Mongolian beef. They were not as good as mine =)

And look at what I received in the mail today!

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I did a Wish List Wednesday one week and a cook book holder was one of the items on my list! I LOVE IT! It has a splash guard that the book or page sits under, it has a non slip bottom and folds up for easy storing! THANKS SOPH – I LOVE IT! AND it will come in handy!

Oh, and Jordan says HI to the blogger world!

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So I have a bone to pick with you vegetarians/vegans whose significant other does not eat this way. I need some advice on how I can keep my house happy and fed.

I told Marc a few months back that I wanted to be a vegetarian, with my long term goal being a vegan and raw. Of course he said he was OK with it but it has become increasingly difficult to keep on track. During the day I am fine – Marc is usually gone, leaving me to eat whatever I want to breakfast and lunch. But dinner is where I am having some problems.

He loves meat but I simply cannot cook it. First of all raw meat grosses me out! I hate the bacteria, the smell, the feel..everything about it. I also have no desire to learn to cook it properly either. He has become increasingly frustrated because we are eating separately most of the time and the fridge and pantry is loaded with veggies, grains and nuts. He is not opposed to eating vegetarian meals but he doesn’t feel like they are substantial.

He is also taking the liberty of telling me that I don’t eat, making fun and bringing it up to outside acquaintances. Like “Well, when she only eats a leaf of lettuce she is bound to lose weight.”  Um, you all see what I eat and I KNOW that I eat a well balanced diet, and MUCH MORE than a piece of lettuce!

I don’t think he means to put me down but it does bother me. And when he cooks dinner he never takes my feelings into consideration and cooks something besides meat being the main dish. I eat it because I don’t want to be rude but I really DO NOT want to eat it.

:sigh: So I am asking for advice. What can I do? Do you cook two separate meals? Does your significant other have patients and cope, or are they closed minded?

tasha

22 responses to “Touchy”

  1. Jessie Avatar
    Jessie

    I am new to your Blog, but I also cut out meat and dairy from my diet, my husband is lactose intolerant(mostly) and doesn't eat red meat… but I do eat fish occasionally. So my Solution was a george foreman! I got one for christmas( I had a small one before) and buy 99% fat free frozen chicken breasts , the costco brand because they retain their flavor no matter how they are cooked, and do not need any seasonings or difficult prep. Lets say you made chilli and sweet potato, I would have quickly grilled one chicken breast which could easily be shredded into his bowl of chilli, and you two have a very similair meal, consistent with your individual dietary restrictions 🙂 these particular chicken breasts are great and $2/lb. and you can even do 3-4 at a time to have on hand. I also keep lunch meat on hand.

    Reply
  2. LC Avatar
    LC

    Actually what bothers me most about this, and what no one else has touched on, is that on days that he cooks and makes meat, you eat it even though you don't want to because you "feel bad." He is consciously cooking something you've stated you're trying to avoid and you "feel bad" refusing it??This is a very open post and I appreciate you sharing what I see through the comments is a common problem people face. I think you need an open talk with your husband about what being supportive means – and then maybe some Amy's frozen meals for when he makes something you'd rather not eat. He makes the meat with himself in mind – not you – so you shouldn't feel pressured to "enjoy" it.

    Reply
  3. Leah @ L4L Avatar
    Leah @ L4L

    I'm going to preface this by saying: I know this sounds bitchy but it is just the way I look at it. If you physically (or mentally, whatever) have a problem with cooking meat, then he shouldn't ask you to do it. If he wants meat, he can cook it his damn self. Otherwise, he can eat what you make without complaining. Or fend for himself. He said he was okay with your change in diet. He needs to be supportive. I know that Angela (oh she glows) had this problem initially and as a result, Eric is mostly vegetarian just because he can't be bothered to cook himself. Vegetarian and Vegan and even Raw food can be really amazingly good. I think he's being a bit close-minded if he thinks otherwise or that he cant be properly nourished and happy bellied on that type of diet.

    Reply
  4. preventionrd Avatar
    preventionrd

    Your green monster looks excellent!I think this is a touchy subject and I think a lot of it has to do with time and availability. Eating preferences are personal and everyone has different reasons for eating the way that they do. If you're at home and preparing meals, I do have to side with your husband in thinking that he should have meat at his dinner meal if that's what he wants and is "used to". It sounds like you've expressed your preference to eat vegetarian and prepare vegetarian meals, and he sounds okay with that and willing to meet you half-way. But I would meet him half-way in preparing him a grilled and baked piece of meat for the evening meal at least a few nights a week, even if it's not something you enjoy doing. Eating meat is "normal" and really not anything outrageous to ask (I use normal carefully, but the majority of the world consumes meat). I do feel like a vegetarian diet is a great route for some and even I could be a vegetarian, but you cannot impose your beliefs on someone else. Nutrition and food is a source of comfort and enjoyment and that means something else to everyone. It's not fair to expect your husband to change just because you have.I know that sounds harsh, but I've dealt with this with a lot of patients and mealtime is an everyday thing, you have to find common ground where both parties are being fed (pun intended) what they need.

    Reply
  5. Lyndsay Avatar
    Lyndsay

    I <3 Kung Pao scallops and now I want to go!!

    Reply
  6. monicaonthego.com Avatar
    monicaonthego.com

    That soup looks lovely. Sorry I have no advice on the hubby front. But maybe you just need to make vegetarian dinners and let him make himself a piece of chicken or beef to go along with it??

    Reply
  7. Ameena Avatar
    Ameena

    My husband and I had a similar problem when I decided to be a vegetarian (although I eat fish). Initially he was really irritated and very concerned about his own meals. It took a while for sure but he is coming around and is even asking for vegetarian meals sometimes! We still have a way to go but give it a little time and I think your husband will be a little more open to the idea eventually.

    Reply
  8. thedallasceliac Avatar
    thedallasceliac

    I'm not a vegetarian but Matt and I eat different meals most of the time. It's not just the gluten-free issue – he doesn't like many vegetables and prefers to eat more carb or meat-heavy meals than I do. For us, it works best to cook our separate meals and eat at the same time. We make an effort to cook something jointly once or twice a week. It's not about eating the same thing – it's about sitting down together to eat.As for his negative comments about your eating habits, I'd tell him how it hurts when he says things like that. He may not realize it.Good luck!

    Reply
  9. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    Yummy chicken noodle soup! Looks perfect for a cold day (like the one Colorado's supposed to have tomorrow!)

    Reply
  10. Jill Avatar
    Jill

    My husband happily eats whatever I make. I mostly make vegetarian, but every once in a while I do make a meaty meal. If there is something he really wants to have and I don't make it then he makes it on his cooking time–on weekends when he is off. I'm not vegetarian. Your situation sounds more challenging.Since your asking for advice–If I was in your shoes I would first have the serious heart to heart sit down talk about what is important to me regarding meals. Especially about making fun of the issue with others–not cool! I would hope my husband would be empathetic (but you never know how someone is going to react) and after that if the conversation did not go well– I would tell him to cook his own meat cuzz I'm not gonna do it if I don't want to (finger snap included)….okay so I guess this is not the best advice…I'm a wee bit stubborn! :)I like the idea of the single serving meat in the freezer for him to cook on his own though. Good luck on your compromise! :)I do strongly believe if someone chooses to not eat meat then this should be respected. Why should you have to cook or deal with it if you do not wish to?"When I cook him dinner and I burn it black, he better say mmm I like it like that!"~Shania Twain

    Reply
  11. Alyson Avatar
    Alyson

    Right now, I just have little old me to take care of, but growing up we basically had 3 different versions of each meal. My mom was a vegetarian, I was extremely picky, and my dad was "normal." If my dad wanted a meat dish, he was responsible for making it and my mom took care of the veggie & side dish. I can, however, completely empathize with being made fun of for food choices. With my crazy fitness diet, it's easier to just bring my own food to gatherings, and after a while the comments over my "gross looking" meals certainly gets old. And now people keep asking if I can "eat normal" again. But my normal isn't their normal! I've just developed a thicker skin about it and try not to respond too much (unless they are genuinely interested) for fear of saying too much.. if ya know what I mean :)I'm so sad I'm not making it to Seattle, but next time I do we should meet up!

    Reply
  12. Jess Avatar
    Jess

    I have the same problem!!! I also something I call 'leftover cycling' and plan to do a blog post about this in the new year – I cook for me one day (make enough for leftovers) then the next, I cook for him (enough for leftovers), and eat my leftovers, then the next day, cook for me and he eats leftovers . . . it really is all in the planning – and like others have suggested, a big compromised base – pasta, stir fry, that you can both customize – as for being too grossed out to cook the meat, if your husband is willing to grill up his own you're in luck, but mine doesn't have the time and I haven't found a way around it yet. . . I eat 100% vegan at home, and am trying to go more raw, but it's hard to keep us stocked for both of us since he doesn't like healthy snacks and I don't touch the junk food (or, uh, try not to). It's really hard without support because I don't eat as well as I could trying to compromise to keep others happy (like when we're over my IL's and there's dairy in everything but the ham. . .), but i'm also a new veg and am hoping as time goes on we'll all adjust better.

    Reply
  13. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    I don't believe that was your first time making chicken noodle soup. It looks awesome!

    Reply
  14. Chelsea Avatar
    Chelsea

    So Shaun is super supportive but I do eat meat and plan to continue to eat meat BUT there was a time when I physically couldn't eat meat (I was having horrid IBS issues) and I would cook 2 meals. It sucked. I feel your pain 🙁

    Reply
  15. Tasha - The Clean Eating Mama Avatar
    Tasha – The Clean Eating Mama

    Thank you all! I think I just need to plan better. Like if I am going to make myself a sweet potato with vegan chili, then I can make him a sweet potato with a chicken breast.I need to look through cookbooks, websites and get enough ideas that I can play around with, adding meat where needed.

    Reply
  16. Graze With Me Avatar
    Graze With Me

    I can't tell you how happy I am to read this. I thought I was the only one. My husband is NOT supportive of my healthy lifestyle. At all. He constantly makes fun of me for it and I just take it. Every now and then I blow up and try to explain but I've just given up.I cook meat. I don't eat chicken but I add it to meals for him. We buy a quarter of beef (200 lbs) every year or so and it's organic, hormone free and all from the same healthy animal. I have no problem eating that. That's why most of the meat-meals you see me cook/eat are beef. It's so hard to find a balance but for now we just don't talk about food choices and he hates the fact that I have a food blog…Thanks, it felt good to vent. I'm still looking for a better way to handle this. Let me know what you come up with!

    Reply
  17. Jen Avatar
    Jen

    That's really tough! You make me realize how lucky I am with my husband. He just thinks he's lucky to have a wife that loves to cook. Meat is pretty rarely cooked around here; I agree with you, it's gross! I like the suggestion about for individually wrapping meat & putting it in the freezer. That way you could both be happy 🙂 As far as him making those hurtful comments, does he realize how it makes you feel when he says those things? Even if he means them as harmless, if they're hurting your feelings, he needs to know that! Maybe he doesn't realize that it IS a big deal to you. I'm so impressed with how you're trying to do good things for yourself by eating healthy! Sorry for writing a novel 🙂

    Reply
  18. *Naomi* Avatar
    *Naomi*

    love the cookbook holder! and also love your son! OMG he is adorable!!!i certainly cook seperate meals sometimes or make slight changes like if I want tofu and he wants chicken I will make one big veggie stirfry and I add tofu, he has chicken…now I am not vegetarian so I don't run into this problem too much but there are somedays that I want something completely different than what he wants and thats what I do, its never really been an issue. I think you should really have a heart to heart with your hubby and tell him how impt this is to you and how impt it is that he support you!

    Reply
  19. Rachael Adele Avatar
    Rachael Adele

    Oh, you and I are a lot alike. I've been vegetarian forever, my husband was until our honeymoon (ironic eye roll). We eat like roommates– it's very unusual for us to eat the same thing at the same time. He says I don't like food, I argue that I eat to live instead of living to eat. We've come to a truce and made it work by bonding over and sharing other things, and leaving our food choices to ourselves. At least you have your blog as an outlet to talk about food and training– rely on it, instead of putting all of the thoughts and feelings on him (re: food). Good luck!

    Reply
  20. liveloveeatandplay Avatar
    liveloveeatandplay

    We keep chicken, burgers and steak in the freezer individually wrapped. When my husband wants meat with a vegetarian dinner I make, he takes one out to defrost, then throws it on the Foreman. Usually he'll do it with something he can throw the meat into, like chili. Otherwise, he eats meat out at restaurants and other people's homes. I just can't touch it either!t

    Reply
  21. katherine Avatar
    katherine

    When it comes down to it, he probably feels a little betrayed b/c your dietary choices are kind of being imposed on him. Even though you don't force him to be veg/vegan/raw, he's probably not thrilled by the idea of having to cook a separate meal for himself. I've found that, like most other aspects of marriage, compromise is the key. When I told my husband that I wanted to start cutting back on meat and dairy, he balked. But I explained the reasons and offered to cook meat some nights so he's come around. I also know he gets a good bit of meat and dairy in his lunches so he's never feeling too deprived. Lastly, when I do cook meat, I just make sure it's organic, grass fed. I feel far less grossed out by super high quality meat so I don't mind making it. As far as him discussing it with other people, I'd try to explain that you're trying to find a happy middle ground between the two of you and it's part of your marriage and not to be discussed with others. But make sure you feel like you two are on the same page first!Hope this helps

    Reply
  22. Christina Edwards Avatar
    Christina Edwards

    I eat a veg diet & plan on feeding my daughter the same when the time comes. My husband on the other hand loves meat. He is really supported of my diet, though. I find if I prepare super yummy meals there are no complains. I make a lot of dishes with mushrooms & that seems to be meaty enough for him. So, I suggest getting a good vegetarian cook book if you don't already have one! :]If you like add my blog (helloaug.blogspot.com) & I'll start posting some of the recipes I've tried. :]

    Reply

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Hello, and welcome! I’m the Clean Eating Mama and I’ve been sharing my journey and passion for wholesome living since 2008. Over the years, I’ve explored countless recipes, tips, and insights into clean eating, all aimed at making healthy choices both delicious and accessible. Whether you’re a seasoned health enthusiast or just starting out, I hope you find inspiration and joy in the content I share. Read full bio.

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