about me

Green, please leave

So I think I need to get a little personal right now and open up.

Still to this day I freak out inside (my head) if I know I cannot get in a workout. I start thinking about gaining weight, what I have eaten, what I shouldn’t have eaten, etc. I hate it. Even though I workout for my own health, I still look at as a way to lose weight. I still have a small percentage of body fat that I would like to reduce and some toning I would like to perfect.

I may have to start sucking it up and taking J to the gym instead of waiting for Marc to watch him. He really does not want him around daycare settings and the germs. I don’t blame him but it is getting very hard for me to rely on his ever changing schedule. Example: I usually workout at night after I put J down. I always have. But now that Marc referee’s his matches can run long; like tonight. I was planning on going to the gym tonight – I started a running plan to get my endurance up. It’s getting late, 8:30, I haven’t eaten much for dinner and really don’t want to until I go – running on a semi full belly is no fun. :sigh: I can feel the anxiety come up in my throat and the water well in my eyes. It makes me feel weak, like I have no control and I start to become jealous of others.

If only I looked like her ::::: Why can’t that be me ::::: Then I would be happy

Even though I have come a long way in feeling great about myself, it doesn’t feel like it at times.

4 thoughts on “Green, please leave

  1. I can relate to this. I am on the opposite end now though and letting my body gain weight for this baby. I am a gym rat and health nut, so laying off the gym and eating what I can to relieve nausea is sometimes hard, but I have to think what is best for our baby. You look GREAT. If you need to workout for your sanity then by all means do it, but to lose some "extra body fat", you are Great the way you are!!!

  2. Awwwh "hugs"You are beautiful and perfect just as you are. Imagine all the people who look at you and think "wow I wish I looked like her"!!! Have you thought about workout videos? The turbo jam ones are totally corny but a great workout! I know lots of bloggers do the PS90x or something like that?!Just remember – YOU are beautiful!

  3. I completely understand how you feel. You don't want to be jealous, but you also want you time for your own things, like the gym. Is it possible to do some of your workout at home after J goes to sleep? That way, even if you get to the gym late, you only have to get cardio in. And if you don't make it at all, you still got some form of exercise!

  4. I meant to tell you this today when I was there, but you are looking great! I think you are looking vibrant and healthy and thin and your face is totally glowing! Tasha, you are beautiful in and out and I understand where you are coming from with the routine and wanting to get a schedule going but just know, you look amazing! Gym daycares aren't so bad either, I used to drop Naomi off for an hour every day back when she was 9 months old and she never got sick. Just do a little Purell action on his hands afterward!

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